Backtracking
by Mother Nature's Daughter
Summary: “If you don’t love him... Why did you kiss him in the first place? I don’t understand.” Will and Elizabeth have something to talk about. Oneshot.


**Author's Note: **So... I wrote this sometime back, and the series has since been cancelled. Just so of you reading this for the first time know. This story actually isn't all that bad; it's odd, naturally (it's a wonder how much you think you've improved in so many months, even if you probably haven't); but at least I use proper grammar in this one.

**Disclaimer:** My invisible friend Jack Sparrow persisently keeps telling me that I do not own him or any of the others; they in all actuality belong to Disney. In a sense, he may be right, but that's not going to stop me from borrowing them for long amounts of time. )

_Reviews are apperciated, even if this story is growing older by the day._

-o0o-

Back-Tracking

It was a wonderful feeling, this feeling Elizabeth Swann was currently feeling.

She and the rest of the crew, on their way to rescue Jack Sparrow, had only been sailing for a few weeks. Perhaps a month; Elizabeth had lost track of time in the last day or so.

But, after taking one-step closer in the process of making up with her fiancé, William Turner, who could blame her for living in the clouds for awhile?

Telling Will about kissing Jack Sparrow, and then kissing him in apology, helped to take a load of her chest. It had only been yesterday, or perhaps the day before, when it happened; and after she had kissed him and muttered apologies in his ear, Will had almost kissed her again.

But he hadn't; instead he pulled away from her regretfully. His eyes had been torn, as if he was battling with himself, and he stared down at her. Slowly he had stroked her cheek with the back of one hand and murmured her name, but before she could respond he released her and left her.

He hadn't spoken to her since, but Elizabeth didn't mind. When normally she would've been hurt by the neglection; or perhaps even worried that the kiss they had shared meant nothing; now she just waited.

Will was battling with himself; Elizabeth could see it in his eyes. She wasn't entirely sure what the battle was about, but she knew his decision would effect her. Greatly.

He watched her, Elizabeth knew. And she also knew that it was when he was watching her that the internal battle was at its height. But the deep brown eyes that belonged to Will Turner didn't watch her with the haunting sadness they had when they first started their journey. They had lightened a bit, been put at ease. But there was still a hint of pain and confusion in his eyes, and Elizabeth thought it best to let him figure it out alone.

Elizabeth could feel his eyes on her, and she wasn't disturbed, as she had been when they watched her before; no, for some reason her mind and body were reassured when she knew Will was watching her, studying her, thinking of her. It gave her hope—hope that Will would forgive her, and that they could be truly together again.

-o0o-

It was possible. It _had_ to be possible. Possible to forget the pain of the past, and to move on with life—to move on with the one you loved.

And yet…Will Turner couldn't get past the pain of seeing Elizabeth in a lustful lip-lock with that pirate—that _Jack Sparrow._

There was hardly ever a time when he could not be seen looking at her; and at those times when he would be looking at her, he could almost convince himself that she held no feelings for Jack Sparrow.

Because Elizabeth had sworn to him that he, Will, was the man she loved, and that despite that fact that she kissed the pirate captain, Jack Sparrow did not have her heart. Will wanted to believe her, wanted to be convinced; but one detail haunted him.

If she did not love Jack Sparrow…Why had she kissed him in the first place?

Elizabeth had never lied to him, not even when they were young. She always told him the truth; and he had always believed her, willingly, faithfully, _unquestionably. _

But he questioned her words now. And he hated himself for it. He had been the one that had been betrayed, but he felt that, by not believing Elizabeth, he was the one doing the betraying.

-o0o-

Elizabeth stretched out in her hammock. She was dog-tired, having just finished her work for the night. Actually, more like for the next few _hours_. She may be a woman, and allowed her own cabin instead of sleeping in the forecastle; but Captain Barbossa worked her like any man. Elizabeth could hear the sounds of the second watch above deck, now.

Among those of the second watch was Will.

Fortunately or unfortunately, Fate—or maybe just Barbossa—kept Will and Elizabeth from seeing much of each other.

Elizabeth was thinking on that as she drifted on the edge of sleep. The journey for Jack was long and backbreaking. And she was so tired…

In this state of being half awake and half asleep, Elizabeth's fuzzy brain vaguely heard a door open and footsteps...But they stopped a moment later and she forgot all about them.

Muttering the sounds of someone close to sleep, she turned over in the hammock. It wasn't an easy task, but she had grown accustomed to the swaying. She lay facing the door, eyelids fluttering open, closed, open.

There was someone there.

Elizabeth was suddenly wide-awake and, stifling a scream of surprise; she tumbled out of the hammock and landed on her backside with a loud '_oof!'_

"Elizabeth!" It was only Will. Elizabeth didn't have time to relax at that before she felt him kneeling beside her, his gentle, but callused, hands holding her shoulders, rubbing her arms.

"Are you alright?" He asked softy. It was so dark in the cabin Elizabeth couldn't even see his face, though his voice told her he was right next to her. "That was quite a…tumble…you took, there."

Elizabeth smiled in the darkness. "I'm fine, Will."

"I didn't mean to startle you."

"Don't apologise." Elizabeth was just happy he was speaking to her. "I heard you come in; it just didn't register, I suppose."

Elizabeth's eyes were adjusting to the darkness, now; Will's features were becoming more visible each minute. She could just make out his face, have hidden in shadows, as he spoke to her.

"I need to have a word with you, Elizabeth."

_Oh, no…_The bit of Elizabeth's brain that was her childhood recalled the words being spoken her father every time she needed to punished, time and time again. Nervously, Elizabeth wondered if this conversation would end badly as well.

To prevent that, Elizabeth told Will in rush, "Shouldn't you be above deck? You're first watch."

Her urgency to get rid of him was not unnoticed by the blacksmith, but Will didn't comment. Instead he stroked her cheek, reassuring her that this conversation wasn't meant to be bad. "This was more important."

"I'm listening completely, Will," Elizabeth answered truthfully. It was still too dark to see his eyes, but she wondered if maybe he had come to a decision about whatever it was that was bothering him.

"I've been thinking about…everything…that's happened, and something you told me has been bothering me, Elizabeth." Will changed his position from kneeling to sitting with his back against the ship's side, the way Elizabeth had been sitting since she sat up from her fall.

"What is it?" Elizabeth didn't enjoy talking about the kiss with Jack, but if it would help Will forgive her, she would tell him anything.

"You don't love Jack Sparrow." It wasn't said as a question, but Elizabeth felt a need to respond that she didn't even try to fight.

"Of course not," she vowed. "I love you."

Her tongue tingled from saying those words to him again. In the past few weeks, even after she kissed him, she had never gotten the chance to say them. She had been beginning to wonder if she ever would again.

"Elizabeth…" Will spoke with the same helplessness a young child might; begging their companion not to pull them off track, not to distract them. And that's just how Will felt right now. He couldn't stop to rejoice over those words, to respond to them like he wished he could. She was enough of a temptation as it were, by just being here; he didn't need her feeding the fire. He had something to say.

"If you don't love…him…" Will avoided saying Jack's name a second time. "Why did you kiss him in the first place?" His voice took on a tone of confusion and hurt. "I don't understand."

"Oh, Will…" Elizabeth should've known. She hadn't even bothered to tell him _that_ story. "I had to…keep him on the ship. The Kraken would only follow us otherwise. I did it to save everyone else."

"Everyone else?"

"Yes…Mr. Gibbs, Mr. Cotton, myself…" Elizabeth reached up out of the darkness to cup Will's face in her hands. "You."

"And the only way something like that can be done is to use your lips?" Will's own hands came up to his face and rested on top of Elizabeth's, though he didn't pull her hands off his face.

"There was no other way," Elizabeth whispered. "All I knew to do was to…kiss…him…" Saying those words made Elizabeth feel awkward and Will shifted uncomfortably. So she quickly spat the rest out. "…Long enough to back him into the mast where I chained him to it."

Will didn't push her away. His breath didn't catch and didn't shout out, 'You _murdered _Jack _Sparrow?_' He seemed to know how guilty Elizabeth still felt about her actions, and how badly those words would hurt her. Instead, he lowered his hands from over top of hers and used one arm to pull the slightly trembling Elizabeth into him.

"…Well," Will managed. "It makes a little sense, now."

"I'm so sor—" Elizabeth's voice cracked. She buried her face into Will's shoulder and cried the guilty tears that she had refused to let fall into now. "I'm so sorry. I feel so bad about it, now, Will. I killed Jack Sparrow."

Will didn't care that his shoulder was soaked with tears. He didn't care that Elizabeth had betrayed him. He didn't care about anything at all. He felt almost guilty, in fact; here he was, wounded and hurt—despite the fact that he knew his feelings were justified—but Elizabeth had been hurting just as much. How had she held up these last few weeks? He, himself, had ignored her; and she had lived with the knowledge she had willingly killed a man.

"I'm sorry, too, Elizabeth." Will kissed the top of her head. "All you must have went through…" His face still buried in her hair, he shook his head. "I cannot fathom it. I'm sorry I wasn't here to help you through."

Will was satisfied; but Elizabeth wasn't done. She had already said so much. And it felt so good to tell him. "There is something else you need to know, Will."

Will raised his head and stared down at her. He looked nervous, now; responding to Elizabeth's tone.

"The kiss you saw…with Jack…It wasn't the first time we…" Elizabeth couldn't think of the words to finish that sentence. How was she supposed to tell Will this? But she had already begun; now was her chance for his forgiveness; if she left things unsaid now, she would lose him forever. She went on.

"I believe I led him on, Will. When I was merely…"

'Curious' seemed like a bad word choice to Elizabeth. "…He flirted, I flirted. I wondered about the sea life, Will; you know how I loved pirates…"

"What are you saying, Elizabeth?" Will's voice was careful not to show any emotion. "Did you kiss him more than once?"

"No." And Will knew that was completely true. "But he said…things…and, I said…things... We both said things to each other. Lustful things." Elizabeth was reaching a point of desperation. "But it was a short-lived…attraction…and it wasn't real and…Why are you laughing at me?"

"Elizabeth." Will chuckled her name. "It's okay."

"No; no, it's not," Elizabeth said. "What I did was wrong; I was caught up in the moment and the chance to do something rebellious; but, so doing, I compromised our relationship, and…"Elizabeth rested her shoulder against Will. "I hurt you."

"We hurt each other, Elizabeth," Will said. "You're sorry; truly, deeply sorry. And I'm sorry, too."

"But you didn't do anything wrong," Elizabeth whispered. "I'm the one seeking forgiveness."

"My forgiveness isn't the one you need," Will said. "Because there is little to forgive." He stroked her hair. "I'll always forgive you, Elizabeth; no matter how badly you mess up. I love you."

"Will…"Elizabeth raised her head. Elizabeth was joyous to here those words from his lips again. "I love you, too."

"I know that now," Will replied. "I should never have doubted your affections."

His hands found hers, and he looked down at where their fingers had intertwined. He twisted the engagement ring, given to Elizabeth by the blacksmith himself, that she had never took off on left ring finger.

"Will you marry me?" His voice broke the peaceful silence that had fallen over them, and Elizabeth gave his hand a squeeze.

"I believe I've already answered that question once before," Elizabeth returned. "And my answer has yet to change. Of course I will."

He leaned down; she leaned up; and their lips were only a few centimeters apart when Barbossa's voice broke the moment.

"_Turner!_"

"He sounds angry." Elizabeth smiled.

"I'm supposed to be on watch," Will said as if she didn't already know.

"Get that useless arse of yours above deck, Mr. Turner or I'll flay you _alive_!"

"You should go." Elizabeth's lips brushed his.

The look he gave her was one of pure torture. She was being a terrible tease, and she knew it. Will was having a hard time resisting.

"Maybe I'll stay just a little bit longer," he suggested, trying to get closer to hers.

Elizabeth shook her head. "Somebody already wants you."

As if to prove her point, Barbossa started screaming again. His voice was getting louder and closer with each word.

"_I'm coming down, Turner!"_


End file.
